Demented, Deranged, and In Dire Demand of a Doctor
by Evelyn Rose Caiside
Summary: [AU] Rose Tyler throws herself into the Void in a last ditch effort to save her family, ending up in the English county side. With amnesia, she's stuck in BRH diagnosed as schizoaffective. Sarah Jane keeps an eye on her without giving her away. Rose Tyler
1. prologue

**A/N:** I _really, really, really_ shouldn't be starting another story, but this little plot bunny would not leave me alone and I succumbed to it. This is not just a hurt/comfort fic. There will be mystery involved. I never do completely fluffly. Not this story, anyway.

* * *

Prologue

In Bethlehem Royal Hospital, a light-brown haired woman wakes up. Honestly, she can't remember how long she's been here. It's boring and she wants to hit her head against a wall, but Nurse Beford won't let her. She hates her sometimes. Sometimes she's pretty nice though. Usually when she sneaks in chocolate.

The woman dresses herself in grey sweatpants and her favourite dark blue t-shirt. It reminds her of that space ship. The one that the other people who live her laugh at and the doctors and nurses kindly tell her isn't real. (They're wrong though. It's real.) She doesn't care about her long hair. It doesn't matter how she looks any more She doesn't even wear shoes. The nurse will make her wear them later anyway.

Rose (Or at least that's what the red-headed woman told the doctors her name was. Apparently she didn't know her last name. How helpful is that?) walks down to the cafeteria to eat breakfast. She has to because they make her. If she were to be honest with herself, she'd rather skip breakfast and go looking for aliens, but they don't exist. Well, they do, but the doctors and nurses don't believe her. (She wants to kill them sometimes, or just threaten them until they give her knife back. She needs it to pick the door lock and to count the number days it's been, on her right arm of course. Really, it's their fault she doesn't know how long it's been.)

At breakfast, the other women say she's crazy. (Of course she is, she's in a mental hospital for time's sake.) Rose believes it too. Her head is a mumbly-jumbly mess of gold and random memories. Nothing is ever in the right order. It happened when- She can't remember. Not even her own name. It's quite frustrating. Sometimes she thinks of a blue box going away and coming back (she sees it outside her window too). Sometimes she thinks of apple grass, but there's no such thing. Other times she hears voices and doesn't know who they belong to. She does remember that boy though, from when she was younger. He hurt her and she hates him. Maybe she'll find him and hurt him too, if she ever gets out of here. Or maybe she should be nice to him. He might just be misunderstood, after all.  
She sees a psychiatrist everyday. There's three of them that take turns. Rose likes messing with them, trying to make them mad. She's only managed to do it once. They always want to know what she dreams of. Nothing, she tells them and it's the truth. Rose is properly crazy, and whenever she remembers this, she giggles and they frown.

All that she knows is that everyone's dead, but she doesn't remember who they are, and she needs to find that man with a blue box. Why? She doesn't know, nor does she care. She just wants out of here.


	2. it was only a dream

**A/N: **I'm writing this late at night. Sorry. Plot building.

* * *

Rose slouched in her leather chair, sitting across the dark oak table from Doctor Pollard. She was very not amused. Quite frankly, she didn't feel like talking today. She had his whole spiel memorised, from "Good morning, Miss Rose" to " I'll see you in a few days". (The last line was never complete without a sigh.)

"Good morning, Miss Rose."

She rolled her eyes. "I don't know about good, but it's still morning."

The doctor sighed and sat back in his chair. "I wish you'd look on the more positive things of life."

"Like what, exactly?", Rose asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Well, it's beautiful outside, not cold as it has been."

"I'm not let outside."

"Last time we let you, you tried to run off."

Rose was silent. It was true. Although, you had to sympathise with her somewhat. Waking up in the middle of the English county side with no recollection of who you were or where you came from was disturbing, not to mention finding out that you had several mental disorders. Then people locking you up in what looked like a hotel, but was really was a prison of some sort, or, at least that's what she thought it was.

"But listen, I have a deal with you if you're willing to cooperate.", Dr. Pollard eyed her warily for any sign of reaction, and just for her personal enjoyment, she gave him none. "This blue box you're always going on about-"

That got a reaction of her. "I have to find it."

"Uh, yes, I know. I found one, believe or not, and I'm willing to take you to see it on one condition."

This definitely captured her attention. If she could make it to that blue box, maybe she could find that man, the only person she could remember in her fuzzy, mostly non-existent memory. Rose could find that man and he would help her get away from this place in that magic box of his. It just might work.

She leans back in the chair again. "I'm listening."

"You been behaving very well the past couple of weeks-"

_Only because I want to get out here, you stupid man_, she thinks.

"-and I think you're ready to join the therapy group again."

Rose grits her teeth and holds back a sarcastic reply. The things she had to do to get out of here. She'd rather just render all two hundred and sixty-five people in this _compound_ unconscious and brake out herself than sit through yet another therapy group. People aren't her thing. She hates people.

"Fine."

* * *

The therapy group had been horrendous, if Rose was to be honest to herself. If only smarter people went crazy.

It was only because of the deal she and Doctor Pollard had made. And he'd better keep his end of the deal or she was going to find some serious payback. An entire hour of listening to people and complain was annoying. It also made her lonely though because she had no friends. The thought depressed and gladdened her at the same time. What if she had friends before she had gone crazy and forgotten herself? They would've come and claimed her for sure. Or maybe she had always been crazy and no one wanted to have her as a burden. The only person Rose would even consider close to being a friend was the redhead, Sarah Jane. Strange creature, she was. Rose was surrounded every kind of medical personnel you could think of and the ginger had insisted on getting a doctor.

Now back to the present, Rose sat up on her bed as a man and a woman in (laughingly) white coats and the doctor walked in. Finally, Rose would have he chance of escape.

The ride there was eerily quiet for which she was thankful. She didn't conservation, small talk, or the like. She didn't even want _sit_ next to anyone. Rose just wanted to get there, wish them a good life (not really, that was sarcastic) , and leave for good. As the car stopped near a corner, she could feel her stomach tighten into a knot. There it was, that precious box. She would finally be free. Rose didn't even notice the others talking as they let her out and kept an eye on her.

"I thought maybe that a little trip might do her good", Doctor Pollard explained to the nurses with him, "when she sees that this fantasy of her's isn't real, she can start getting better."

Rose walked up and stared it. _Public Police Box_, it read. Placing a hand on the outside, she expected something to happen, but nothing did. _What was supposed to happen anyway? _She pulled on the door handle and it didn't move for a moment, and she wondered if she was supposed to push or pull, but in her moment of decision, the door popped open.

It was dark, and most definitely, very not bigger on the inside.

Rose felt her heart stop and her breathing got quicker. This was not supposed to happen. It was supposed to be bigger on the inside! There was supposed to be light and a man with a grin and a trench waiting inside. Thunder in the distance told her of an approaching storm. (So much for beautiful spring weather, Doctor Pollard.)

A tear rolled down her cheek, and she did the only thing she knew what to do. She ran.

* * *

The Doctor pulled several buttons and pulled a couple levers, his actions lacking their usual intensity. After dropping off Martha because she couldn't handle pig-men and Daleks, his life had been in the doldrums. He floated around from planet to planet, doing this, saving that. The usual last-of-the-Time-Lords life, but not exactly fun, at least, not if you were alone.

He planned on visiting Sarah Jane. She had made him promise that he would visit every six months. This was a promise that he had actually kept. (The Doctor was somewhat proud at the prospect that he could keep a promise, after breaking so many.)

Landing in her backyard, which caused the attention of several of the neighbours, the Doctor, being the Doctor, knocked on the back door. Luke opened and immediately grabbed his arm to pull him into the kitchen.

"Thank goodness. We've been wondering when you'd arrive. I'll go get mum. She's upstairs."

Of course, the teenage boy's version of "getting her" was yelling up the stars. The Doctor knew something was wrong. Usually a smile was given, or tea offered. Not this dragging him into the kitchen business. He checked the calendar. Ok, so it had been seven months. Not as bad as it could be. He pulled out his sonic screwdriver and scanned for anything alien, besides himself, Luke, and K9, of course. Nothing.

The Doctor flopped on the sofa in the livingroom, turning on the telly with his sonic screwdriver. If he wasn't getting told what was the matter soon, he may as well get caught up on with whatever mankind thought was important to broadcast at the moment. The news came on with the weather, perpetual London rain. News reports were given. Sarah Jane came down the stairs in a rush.

"Oh, Doctor. It's a good thing you're here. You'll never believe what happened. Are you sitting down? Do you want tea?"

He looked over shoulder at a dishevelled Sarah Jane. "I'm sitting down, yes, and a tea would be brilliant. What happens to be the trouble? You've got an expert at your hands", he gave a grin which she did not return.

Sarah busied herself making tea. "Not alien, well, I don't think so, if that's what you're wondering. It's more of a personal matter."

"Nothing's happened to Martha or Jack? Oh, well, course not to Jack, I mean- Never mind."

"No, no. Not them. See, a few months ago there was this-"

And that's when the news broadcast came on. He caught it barely out of the corner of his eye, but when he did, it immediately caught his full attention. Rose Tyler. She doesn't look the same, but she's still Rose. He's sure of that. The lady newscaster spoke over the surveillance video.

"_Earlier today, the mysterious woman who had started breaking news by running from her physiologist in busy downtown London yesterday has been found. While she seems to be in fine physical health, it was confirmed that she has been returned to Bethlehem Royal Hospital where she has been staying for almost half a year. For those who may not be aware, BRH is a institution for the mentally ill who need-"_

Sarah Jane shut off the the television with a sigh of relief. "Thank heaven that she's safe", she swallowed and turned to a gaping Doctor, "that's what I meant when I said it's a personal matter. Not mine, your's."

His jaw opened and close for a moment, no sound coming out, before he finally spoke. "But it's impossible! She's not even supposed to be a able to come here. She'd have to cross the Void, and-", he stood up to pace. "Where are they keeping her again? An asylum? Do they think she's crazy?"

"Doctor", Sarah Jane sighed, "that's the thing. She is crazy."

He gave her _the_ look. "I don't believe it."

"It's true, Doctor. I've seen her, talked to her. Something's happened to her. She doesn't remember anything, not even her own name. All she knows of is a man and a blue box. I've asked her about her mother, her friends, about me. And when they say she's crazy, it's true. She's not the Rose Tyler you remember, Doctor."

* * *

**A/N: **So Rose escapes, has a mental breakdown, is found, is on the news, which the Doctor sees and doesn't believe. This was more of passive Rose Tyler today. Meh. Review?


	3. and i couldn't see

_**A/N**_: I AM SO SORRY. I've had a horrible case of writer's block, and we've been horribly busy. I hope you will forgive me.

* * *

"I'm afraid to think it's a hopeless case, Doctor Smith, but we haven't been able to do anything to help her, except treating her injuries when she first came in."

"What is her diagnosis?", the brown-haired man asked while looking over several sheets of paper.

"Bipolar type schizoaffective disorder. Rare, I know", the grey-haired man added after seeing his expression, " We've put her on clozapine and it seems to have helped with the hallucnations and such, but her moods don't seem to be improving with lithium. I don't think the amenisa's helping with that much, seeing she has nothing to work with. I also try _CBT and group therapy. There really isn't much improvment unless I offer her something."_

_"Like that stunt you pulled the other day, Doctor Pollard?", the Doctor asked, looking down condescendingly from his glasses. _

_The older man rubbed the back of his head. "She has hallucations of the this blue, erm, police box coming to get her. You know, the old vintage ones. I found one while driving with my family, and thought that maybe if she saw it, it could help her base what is real and what isn't." _

_"And it obviously didn't work."_

_The older man murmured in agreement and stood up from his desk. "Would you still like to evalute her?"_

_"That'd be brillaint."_

* * *

Rose was rolled over on her side, facing the cream wall. She did not want to get up. There really wasn't any reason to anyway, now that she found out the only thing she'd remembered at all was found not to be true. What was the point any more. There was nothing to look back to, nothing to look forward to. Except death. Maybe. The way-to-cheery voice of the nurse woke her out these disturbing thoughts.

"Time to get ready, Rose. There's a new doctor that's come to see you."

"Tell him, no, thank you", the honey-haired woman muttered.

"Now, Rose, try to look on the bright side", Laura, the nurse, said as she pulled a navy shirt and dark grey sweatpants out for her to wear, "Maybe he can help you get better and then you can go home."

"I don't even know where home is."

"You'll remember in time. Now c'mon", she tapped her shoulder, "Sit up." Rose did as she commanded, and Laura noticed tears in her patient's eyes. "What's the matter, love?"

Normally, Rose wouldn't have put up with a woman her age calling her love, but she really needed someone to understand right now. Not that this mousy brunette would be able to comprehend what she was going through, but she was kind.

"None of it was real."

"Pardon?", the nurse looked up at her from finding a pair of trainers.

"The blue box, the only thing I could remember, it wasn't real."

Laura pursed her lips together. "Maybe it stood for something in your mind, but you just can't remember it now. You'll remember soon though. I'm sure of it, yeah?", she smiled.

Rose simply looked at her and got dressed.

* * *

_Knock. Knock. Knock. Knock._

"Come in", the bored man said while taking his feet of the desk.  
"Doctor Smith?", a young, blue-eyed, brown-haired nurse stuck her head in the partly open door.  
"Uh, yes, yes", he said nervously, shuffling papers around. "Come in."

The Doctor immediately wanted to run to Rose as she was pulled in, and put his arms around her and tell her how much he cared, but her head was down. And it only came up to glance at him cautiously before whipping around back to the nurse, Laura.

"You can just take me back to my room now", she said sharply to the woman who was about to leave.

The Doctor felt his hearts break. It was true. She didn't know him. Well, she didn't know it was _him_.

"What's the matter, dear? This is Doctor Smith. He's going to talk to you for a while", the nurse motioned to the desk.  
"I'm not an idiot."  
"Pardon?"  
"I know for a fact that no one is there, so don't you dare treat me like I'm stupid!"

Laura looked at her and then back to the doctor at the desk, who, from what she could tell, was trying not to say something.

"But he is there, Rose", she walked back over the desk and stuck out her hand, at which the Doctor raised an eyebrow. "Here, Doctor Smith, shake my hand." He did so and Rose sat back in her seat, silent. "Are we ok now?"

Rose nodded and her nurse left the room, leaving awkward silence in her wake.

* * *

The Doctor coughed. All he really wanted to do right now was hold her and never let her go. Perhaps it was better to wait until her memory returned.

"So, Rose-", he started to ask her questions, but was interrupted.  
"Are you here to help me out?", Rose questioned quietly, holding him in a unnerved gaze.  
He blinked. "Of course! I mean, isn't that what I'm doing now?", he stumbled over his answer while scratching his neck.  
Her mouth was held partly open like she was going to say something, but didn't.  
"So, Rose, let's start with everything you remember. Now I know-"  
"I have bleedin' amnesia", she cut him off, "As you probably know, I'm a hint of crazy by only remembering a blue police box and a guy in a trench coat."  
"A trench coat?"  
She rolled her eyes.

The Doctor sat back and shuffled through her papers once again. He couldn't imagine what kind of trauma her mind had to have experience for this to happen. Life-long memories missing for days, normal, but for _months_? No. It simply wasn't done without outside help. He should use his sonic, or take a peek inside her mind, but he didn't know if security cameras were in here and didn't want to violate Rose's privacy by shifting through her mind without permission.

"Describe this- this box, and man, too, if you can."  
Rose's face scrunched up in the way it did when she thought carefully, and the Doctor recognized the look. It was just older. "It's blue. It's like an old police box, but- but it's different." He nodded, to urge her on. "It's- I know you won't believe this- but it's bigger on the inside." She looked at the Doctor with a mask of indifference, judging his reaction, but he simply smiled. "You believe me?"  
"Why not? Impossible is simply a word people throw around."  
Rose blinked at him. Usually, by now, the doctors would scoff and say it was only a memory of a dream, nothing like it could exist.  
"Well, are you going to continue?"

"It's a ship, it travels in space and time. I can't remember where it goes, or what it's called, or what it looks like on the inside except that it's bright and warm. And she- it's a alive, you see- she'll sing you to sleep at night, like when you're having a bad dream or something."

And that was the most Rose had said to anyone in the past six months, excluding herself, but she wasn't done.

"And the man who flies her is, well, he-", she paused, not knowing what to say.  
"What about him?"  
"He- he looks like you", she said quietly, but then her voice turned firmer, "But it can't be you. I mean you're only a doctor!"

He gave her a lopsided grin. "What if I said I wasn't no ordinary doctor?"  
Rose cocked an eyebrow, most likely in preparation for saying something sassy, but interrupted by three security guards barging in.

"Doctor Smith, I believe you need to come with us."

* * *

_**A/N:**_This was extremely hard to write, and I have no clue why. I'm trying to keep Rose consistent with her dianogis, but having the Doctor being himself. Let's pray it doesn't turn into a huge plane wreck. ANWAYS- Who wants the Doctor?

I'm sure you'll be very, very, very surprised. ;)


End file.
